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Illustrate about post school qualification levels in Australia were held in 1999

Illustrate about post school qualification levels in Australia were held in 1999 8w6G
The chart illistrate about post school qualification levels in Australia and its proportion according to gender in 1999. The various levels of post school qualification were skilled vocational diploma undergraduate diploma, bachlor's degree, post graduate diploma and mater degree. The females persuaded undergraduate diploma was about 70%. It was the most opted qualification by females in 1999. The second was bachlor's degree choosen by 55% and next master degree and post graduate diploma was about 40% and 30% respectively. Whereas the skilled vocational diploma was the least opted qualification of about 10% by females in 1999. By contrast the males persuaded skilled vocational diploma was the most of around 90%. The male persuaded undergraduate diploma qualification was 40%, bachlor's degree was 45% and post graduate diploma and master degree was 70% and 60% respectively. Thus by comparing the qualifications of males and females the skilled vocational diploma was least choosen by females and the most choosen by males. Next, under graduate diploma and bachlor's degree was most preferred qualification by females than males. Finally the post graduate diploma and master degree was most preferred qualification by males than females. Thus about the features and comparisons of post school qualifications in Australia according to gender in 1999.
The chart
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illistrate
about
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post
school
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qualification
levels in Australia and its proportion according to gender in 1999. The various levels of
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post
school
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qualification
were
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skilled
vocational
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diploma
undergraduate
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diploma
,
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bachlor
's
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degree
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
post
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diploma
and mater
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
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females
persuaded undergraduate
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diploma
was about 70%. It was the most opted
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qualification
by
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females
in 1999. The second was
Possible spelling mistake found.
bachlor
's
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degree
Possible spelling mistake found.
choosen
by 55% and
next
master
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degree
and
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post
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diploma
was about 40% and 30%
respectively
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
the
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skilled
vocational
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diploma
was the least opted
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qualification
of about 10% by
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females
in 1999. By contrast the
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males
persuaded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diploma
was the most of around 90%. The male persuaded undergraduate
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diploma
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
was 40%,
Possible spelling mistake found.
bachlor
's
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degree
was 45% and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
post
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diploma
and master
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
was 70% and 60%
respectively
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
by comparing the
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qualifications
of
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males
and
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females
the
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skilled
vocational
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diploma
was least
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choosen
by
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females
and the most
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choosen
by
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males
.
Next
, under
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graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diploma
and
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bachlor
's
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degree
was most preferred
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qualification
by
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females
than
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males
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
the
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post
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diploma
and master
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
was most preferred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
about the features and comparisons of
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post
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
in Australia according to gender in 1999.
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Amy Chua

IELTS academic Illustrate about post school qualification levels in Australia were held in 1999

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
206 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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