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ielts writing task 1 volunteering

ielts writing task 1 volunteering J31Dw
The two pie charts provide data about the rate of volunteering by different organizations in 2008 and 2014. Overall, it is clear that the figure for environmental, sport and health care experienced a upward trend, the opposite was true for that in the rest of the groups. In addition the ratio of health care was the lowest point in the period shown. In 2008, educational’s volunteers acounted for the highest percent, at 24% of the total organizations volunteering, while the rate of that in environmental and sport were steady lower, at 21% and 15% respectively. By contrast, the lowest proportion with only 7% belonged to health care. In 2014, the percentage of environment volunteers witnessed a dramatic rise and marked the highest point in the chart, at 29%. That figure for health care and saw a significant growth from 15% to 25%, while art and others fell remarkably to 12% and 9% respectively. Volunteers of health care increased gradually by 1% but still remained the lowest part of all.
The two pie charts provide data about the rate of volunteering by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
organizations in 2008 and 2014.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the figure for environmental, sport and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
experienced
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
upward trend, the opposite was true for that in the rest of the groups. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
the ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
was the lowest point in the period shown.

In 2008, educational’s volunteers
Possible spelling mistake found.
acounted
for the highest percent, at 24% of the total organizations volunteering, while the rate of that in environmental and sport were steady lower, at 21% and 15%
respectively
. By contrast, the lowest proportion with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
7% belonged to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care.

In 2014, the percentage of environment volunteers witnessed a dramatic rise and marked the highest point in the chart, at 29%. That figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a significant growth from 15% to 25%, while art
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
fell
remarkably
to 12% and 9%
respectively
. Volunteers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
increased
gradually
by 1%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
remained the lowest part of all.
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IELTS academic ielts writing task 1 volunteering

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
169 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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