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The complete amount as well as sources of fish imported to America from year 1988 to 2000 regarding this knowledge is appearing from both pie and bar charts. In an overview, currency invested by us in fish market keeps taking incline by similar margin each passing year. However, canada dominated trade in former year but trade decrease in later period. At the fleeting glace, In 1988 the nothern American nation had majority of shares as importers of sea animals to USA whereas other nations were at ratio of 27. Nevertheless china was below other contenders in this phenomenon. Moreover canada had more import then combination of both of opponents. United states spent over 6. 5 million funds on fishies.
The complete amount
as well
as sources of fish imported to America from year 1988 to 2000 regarding this knowledge
The verb 'appearing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
is appearing
from both pie and bar charts. In an overview, currency invested by us in fish market
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
taking incline by similar margin each passing year.
However
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
canada
dominated trade in former year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
trade decrease in later period. At the fleeting
'glace' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "glacé"
glace
, In 1988 the
Possible spelling mistake found.
nothern
American nation had
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
shares as importers of sea animals
A determiner is probably missing here: "to the USA".
to USA
whereas other nations were at ratio of 27.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Nevertheless
china was below other contenders in this phenomenon.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
Possible spelling mistake found.
canada
had more import
Did you mean "than"?
then
combination of both of opponents.
The proper noun "United States" needs to be capitalized.
United states
spent over 6. 5 million funds on
In some contexts, this is childish language. Consider alternatives.
fishies
.
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IELTS academic https: //encrypted-tbn0. gstatic. com/images? q=tbn: ANd9GcRFfr74TLYpxJdO6xV_QFJrG8NoHsko29wvSbovbPlE3LJahAI2KHXdnl0&s=10

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
119 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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