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how people spend for domestic things

how people spend for domestic things A37We
The pie charts illustrated the percentage of different categories contributing to the spending of families in a country during the period from 1950 to 2000. While housing took up the largest section of the table in 1950, food ranked as the highest expenditure sector in 2010. It was clearly to be seen from the chart that in 1950, up to three-quarters of the average household spending was occupied by housing, three times higher compared to 22% in 2010. The food sector, which accounted for 11. 2% of the total number, experienced a dramatic growth to 34% after 60 years while the percentage of money spent on education witnessed a slight lull by 0, 3% to 6, 6% during the same period. By contrast, while there was a three-fold increase in transportation expenditure, from 3. 3% to 14% in 2010, the figure for health care spending doubled to 4. 5%. Families were also recorded to use more money on other sectors, which led to a noticeable rise from 4. 4% to 19. 2% over the period shown.
The pie charts illustrated the percentage of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
categories contributing to the spending of families in a country during the period from 1950 to 2000. While housing took up the largest section of the table in 1950, food ranked as the highest expenditure sector in 2010.

It was
clearly
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the chart that in 1950, up to three-quarters of the average household spending
was occupied
by housing, three times higher compared to 22% in 2010. The food sector, which accounted for 11. 2% of the total number, experienced a dramatic growth to 34% after 60 years while the percentage of money spent on education witnessed a slight lull by 0, 3% to 6, 6% during the same period.

By contrast, while there was a three-fold increase in transportation expenditure, from 3. 3% to 14% in 2010, the figure for health care spending doubled to 4. 5%. Families were
also
recorded to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more money on other sectors, which led to a noticeable rise from 4. 4% to 19. 2% over the period shown.
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IELTS academic how people spend for domestic things

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
176 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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