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compare village park 10 years ago and now

compare village park 10 years ago and now KGrXN
The map above described the differences between a village park and its new version after 10 years. As can be seen, while the football pitch and the children’s play area have been around, there have been various changes in the village park over the period shown. The park now is surrounded by a cycling path while its football pitch remains unchanged in the center. Looking at the map in more detail, there has been an expansion of both the tennis play yard and courts. This goes the same for the car park, which now has enough spaces for 50 cars, much larger compared to 20 ones in the past. In the east of the park, the woods has shrunk to make room for the toilets and a new children’s soft play area while a new café has been built inside it. The pond in the south of the village park now has been transformed into a boating lake nearing the new picnic area.
The map above
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described
the differences between a village
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park
and its
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new
version after 10 years. As can be
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seen
, while the football pitch and the children’s play area have been around, there have been various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the village
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park
over the period shown.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
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now
is surrounded
by a cycling path while its football pitch remains unchanged in the center. Looking at the map in more detail, there has been an expansion of both the tennis play yard and courts. This goes the same for the car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
spaces for 50 cars, much larger compared to 20 ones in the past.

In the east of the
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park
, the woods has shrunk to
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make
room for the toilets and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
children’s soft play area while a
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new
café has
been built
inside it. The pond in the south of the village
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
has
been transformed
into a boating lake nearing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
picnic area.
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IELTS academic compare village park 10 years ago and now

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
163 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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