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how middle-income families allocate their household budget in two different years

The diagrams illustrate methods how middle-income families allocate their household budget in two different years. In 2015, household budget are allocated evenly. However, there was a significant difference of household budget allocation in 2020. In 2015, there was an even allocation of household budget of middle-income families. They spend 35 percent of their budget on housing. Regarding the budget for food and clothes, they allocated 25 percent of their budget. As well as the budget for action and leisure, they spend 25 percent of their budget on it. Meanwhile, only 15 percent were spend on other stuffs. In 2020, household budget distribution of middle-income families were quite different from 2015 allocation. Housing budget rose sharply, with 50 percent of their budget spending on housing. Budget for food and clothes also increased by spending 35 percent on food and clothes. However, budget for vacation and other matters dropped sharply. Middle-income families spend only 10 percent of their budget on vacations and only 5 percent on other matters. All in all, the trends of allocating household budget changed overtime. Still, majority of middle-income families’ household budget were spend on housing in both 2015 and 2020.
The diagrams illustrate methods how middle-income
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families
allocate their
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household
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budget
in two
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different
years. In 2015,
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household
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budget
are allocated
evenly
.
However
, there was a significant difference of
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household
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budget
allocation in 2020.

In 2015, there was an even allocation of
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household
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budget
of middle-income
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families
. They
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spend
35
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percent
of their
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budget
on housing. Regarding the
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budget
for food and clothes, they allocated 25
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percent
of their
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budget
.
As well
as the
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budget
for action and leisure, they
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spend
25
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percent
of their
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budget
on it. Meanwhile,
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only
15
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percent
Did you mean "where" or "we"?
were
Consider using a past participle here: "spent".
spend
on other stuffs.

In 2020,
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household
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budget
distribution of middle-income
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families
were quite
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different
from 2015 allocation. Housing
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budget
rose
sharply
, with 50
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percent
of their
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budget
spending on housing.
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Budget
for food and clothes
also
increased by spending 35
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percent
on food and clothes.
However
,
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budget
for vacation and other matters dropped
sharply
. Middle-income
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families
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10
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percent
of their
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budget
on vacations and
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only
5
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percent
on other matters.

All in all, the trends of allocating
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household
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budget
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
overtime.
Still
,
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majority of
middle-income
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families’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
Did you mean "where" or "we"?
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on housing in both 2015 and 2020.
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IELTS academic how middle-income families allocate their household budget in two different years

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
193 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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