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The bar chart illustrates the percentage of people with smoking habits in the UK by age from sixteen to seventy-four.

The bar chart illustrates the percentage of people with smoking habits in the UK by age from sixteen to seventy-four. drdpE
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of people with smoking habits in the UK by age from sixteen to seventy-four. Overall, there is more than a half of people that never smoke in five out of six age group. The highest proportion is in 16-to-24-year group with about sixty percent. Only over forty percent of people in the oldest group never smoke. The opposite trend is right for ex-smoker. Over forty percent of people in the 65-to-74 age group used to smoke and the lowest point is in the middle age group (35 to 44). The percentage of people that are now smoker varies in each group. People from 25 to 34 years old account for forty percent in which one quarter is heavy smoker. Meanwhile, the figure for the 65 to 74 age range is smallest. The greatest percentage of heavy smoker is in 45 to 54 age range. In short, age range affects mainly the smoking behaviour of people.
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with smoking habits in the UK by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
from sixteen to seventy-four.

Overall
, there is more than a half of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that never smoke in five out of six
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
. The highest proportion is in 16-to-24-year
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group
with about sixty
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percent
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
over forty
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percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the oldest
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group
never smoke.

The opposite trend is right for ex-smoker. Over forty
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percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the 65-to-74
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to smoke and the lowest point is in the middle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
(35 to 44).

The percentage of
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people
that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
smoker varies in each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
from 25 to 34 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
account for forty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in which one quarter is heavy smoker. Meanwhile, the figure for the 65 to 74
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
range is smallest. The greatest percentage of heavy smoker is in 45 to 54
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
range.

In short,
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age
range affects
mainly
the smoking
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart illustrates the percentage of people with smoking habits in the UK by age from sixteen to seventy-four.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
161 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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