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how high school students spent their money in 2005

how high school students spent their money in 2005 PVVBj
The given three circular charts delineate how high school students spent their money in 2005. Each pie chart represents one of three schools namely Beaufort, Westmont and Whitford. Units are measured in percentage. Taking a birds’ eye view on given data for Beaufort High School students’ expenditures, it can be vividly noticed that food and video games were the most significant areas of spending money as students spent 30% of total money on eatables and slightly less 28% on the electronic games. Overtly, money outlaid on movies (22%), music (8%) and clothing (12%) was less significant. In addition, pupils of Westmont High School expended maximum money on Movies and Video games with 28% and 25 % orderly. Almost the same amount of money was exhausted on Music and Food with a difference of merely 1%. Least funds were paid out for clothes (6%). Probing further, 32% of cash was spent on Video games by the students of Whitford High School. Music consumed 28% of their total cash and money outlaid on clothing was 6% less than that of expenditure made on music. Food and movies absorbed money with 10% and 8% respectively. Overall, it is lucid that students in all the given three schools liked to spend maximum cash on video games in 2005.
The
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given
three circular charts delineate how
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high
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school
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students
spent their
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money
in 2005. Each pie chart represents one of three
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schools
namely
Beaufort,
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Westmont
and
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Whitford
. Units
are measured
in percentage.

Taking a birds’ eye view on
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given
data for Beaufort
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High
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School
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students’
expenditures, it can be
vividly
noticed that food and
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video
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games
were the most significant areas of spending
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money
as
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students
spent 30% of total
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money
on eatables and
slightly
less 28% on the electronic
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games
.
Overtly
,
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money
outlaid on movies (22%),
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music
(8%) and clothing (12%) was less significant.

In addition
, pupils of
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Westmont
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High
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School
expended maximum
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money
on Movies and
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Video
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games
with 28% and 25 % orderly. Almost the same amount of
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money
was exhausted
on
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Music
and Food with a difference of
merely
1%.
A determiner is probably missing here: "the Least".
Least
funds
were paid
out for clothes (6%).

Probing
further
, 32% of cash
was spent
on
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Video
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games
by the
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students
of
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Whitford
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High
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School
.
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Music
consumed 28% of their total cash and
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money
outlaid on clothing was 6% less than that of expenditure made on
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music
. Food and movies absorbed
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money
with 10% and 8%
respectively
.

Overall
, it is lucid that
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students
in all the
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given
three
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schools
liked to spend maximum cash on
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video
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games
in 2005.
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IELTS academic how high school students spent their money in 2005

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
214 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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