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he graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

he graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. MMMeL
The graph displays the proportion of the elderly, from 65 years old and over in the middle of a century in three independent nations. The most noticeable progressions are the one from Japan and the USA, for Japan, their elder community was the lowest, while in the USA they were the higher proportion, but it’s expected that for 2040, Japan will have the highest percentage and the USA the lowest. Firstly, in 1940 in the USA 9% of their population was 65 years old and over, this percentage slightly climbed until 1960, then it sky-rocketed until 1980. In 1980. It began to decrease. In 2020 it started to increase again and it’s predicted that it will continue increasing. On the other hand, the Swedish elder population began at 7%, but increase almost all of the time between 1940 and 2040. Their elderly population percentage decline modestly between 1980 and 1990, and also started decreasing in 1990 and it’s anticipated to continue decreasing until 2025, but then the number of elder population should sky-rocket. Japan began with only 5% of people aged 65 and over, but it’s predicted to be the highest percentage between the three countries in 2040. Their representation in the chart shows a regular decreasing with slight climbs, but from 1985 is started climbing proportionally, increasing every period a little bit more, and supposedly sky-rocketing in 2030. In conclusion, Sweden will keep being the country in the middle of the percentage with a continuous climb, while the USA and Japan will switch places. Japan will have a drastic change and the USA will decrease eventually but will recover.
The graph displays the proportion of the elderly, from 65 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and over in the middle of a century in three independent nations. The most noticeable progressions are the one from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
and the USA, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, their elder community was the lowest, while in the USA they were the higher proportion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
that for 2040,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
will have the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
and the USA the lowest.

Firstly
, in 1940 in the USA 9% of their
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population
was 65 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and over, this
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percentage
slightly
climbed until 1960, then it sky-rocketed until 1980. In 1980. It began to decrease. In
The comma is probably missing here: "2020, it".
2020 it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to increase again and it’s predicted that it will continue increasing.

On the other hand
, the Swedish elder
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population
began at 7%,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
increase almost
Consider using "all the".
all of the
time between 1940 and 2040. Their elderly
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population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
decline
modestly
between 1980 and 1990, and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
decreasing in 1990 and it’s anticipated to continue decreasing until 2025,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then the number of elder
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population
should sky-rocket.

Japan began with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aged 65 and over,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it’s predicted to be the highest
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percentage
between the three countries in 2040. Their representation in the chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a regular decreasing with slight climbs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
from 1985 is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
climbing
proportionally
, increasing every period a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
more, and
supposedly
sky-rocketing in 2030.

In conclusion
, Sweden will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
being the country in the middle of the
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percentage
with a continuous climb, while the USA and
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Japan
will switch places.
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Japan
will have a drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and the USA will decrease
eventually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
will recover.
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IELTS academic he graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
270 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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