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households owning and renting all across England and Wales from the year 1918 to 2011.

households owning and renting all across England and Wales from the year 1918 to 2011. GMM1x
The given bar diagrams give us the information about the households owning and renting all across England and Wales from the year 1918 to 2011. According to the bar graph in 1918 around 25% of residents preferred owning their own houses where as around 75% of people chose to live in rented houses. As the studies show, up till 1961 people found accommodating in rented house more preferable than buying their own house where the average percentage of people renting the house was between 55% to 75%, whereas the average percentage for owned house was between 35% to 50%. But around the year 1971 the graph seemed to be reversed as in the year 1971 the percentages of households occupied by renting or owning the house was same. After the year 1971 there was a major rise in the percentage of people owning their houses rather than staying in rented houses. After the year 1981 the average percentage of people owning the house was between 60% to 70%, where we can see that in the year 2001 the percentage of people owning the house was maximum. There was a noticeable drop of average percentage of people renting the house which was between 55% to 30% from the year 1971.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar diagrams give us the information about the households
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owning
and
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renting
all across England and Wales from the
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year
1918 to 2011. According to the bar graph in 1918 around 25% of residents preferred
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owning
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
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houses
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
around 75% of
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people
chose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in rented
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houses
. As the studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
, up till 1961
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people
found accommodating in rented
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house
more preferable than buying their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
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house
where the
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average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
was between 55% to 75%, whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
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percentage
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
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house
was between 35% to 50%.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
around the
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year
1971 the graph seemed to
be reversed
as in the
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year
1971 the
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percentages
of households occupied by
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renting
or
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owning
the
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house
was same.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1971 there was a major rise in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
rather
than staying in rented
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houses
. After the
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year
1981 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
was between 60% to 70%, where we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that in the
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year
2001 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
was maximum. There was a noticeable drop of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
which was between 55% to 30% from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1971.
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IELTS academic households owning and renting all across England and Wales from the year 1918 to 2011.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
209 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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