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he provided two graphs present student enrollment patterns over a ten year period, from 2001 to 2010 in Australian universities.

he provided two graphs present student enrollment patterns over a ten year period, from 2001 to 2010 in Australian universities. bMRB
he provided two graphs present student enrollment patterns over a ten year period, from 2001 to 2010 in Australian universities. It measures the percentage of local and overseas commencing universities per total. The first graph denotes the overseas student enrollments and the second one shows the local student admissions. Overall, the levels of total students in both given graphs pollutants formed a far-bigger pattern than the latter lines. A glance at the first graph clearly shows that the new overseas students continued to commence in Australian colleges. Nearly 13000 immigrant learners at the beginning of the given period while total students left them behind by 7000 learners. The proportion for total students rocketed over time and hit a high of 80000 at the end of 10 year course whereas the commencing number of students who study abroad enroll in a similar line until 2009 by 40000 students respectively. Looking at the graph, at the starting point, around 19000 local people entered to study in Australian universities. 9 years onward, the figures oscillates as it peaked in 2002 and remains stable in the final year. In contrast, the pattern of total, there is a significantly altered figure. It appears easily and striking in the graph is the rapid growth in the number of local people eager to enter domestic universities. The total number of local students was recorded at 40000 in the first year, after which the figure witnessed a remarkable soak to 600000 in 2027. In the following 4 years, the value stays unchanged to the end of the period.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
he
provided two
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graphs
present
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student
enrollment patterns over a ten
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year
period, from 2001 to 2010 in Australian
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universities
. It measures the percentage of
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local
and overseas commencing
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universities
per
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total
. The
first
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graph
denotes the overseas
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student
enrollments and the second one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
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local
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student
admissions.

Overall
, the levels of
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total
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students
in both
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given
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graphs
pollutants formed a far-bigger pattern than the latter lines.

A glance at the
first
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graph
clearly
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shows
that the new overseas
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students
continued to commence in Australian colleges.
Nearly
13000 immigrant learners at the beginning of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
them behind by 7000 learners. The proportion for
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total
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students
rocketed over time and hit a high of 80000 at the
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end
of 10
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year
course whereas the commencing number of
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students
who study abroad enroll in a similar line until 2009 by 40000
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students
respectively
.

Looking at the
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graph
, at the starting point, around 19000
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local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
entered to study in Australian
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universities
. 9 years onward, the figures oscillates as it peaked in 2002 and remains stable in the final
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year
.
In contrast
, the pattern of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
, there is a
significantly
altered figure. It appears
easily
and striking in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
is the rapid growth in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
eager to enter domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
was recorded
at 40000 in the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, after which the figure witnessed a remarkable soak to 600000 in 2027. In the following 4 years, the value stays unchanged to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.
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IELTS academic he provided two graphs present student enrollment patterns over a ten year period, from 2001 to 2010 in Australian universities.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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