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he number of cars per 1000 people in 5 European countries

he number of cars per 1000 people in 5 European countries xOwQa
The given bar chart illustrates the number of people who own a car in 5 various European countries in 2005, 2009, 2015 and compares it with the European average. Looking at the chart, it can be seen clearly that there was a rise in the number of cars per 1000 people in Europe over the period. In addition, Country 5 maintained a relatively high number of cars compared to the other 4 countries. There was an increase in the number of cars owed in Country 1 from 300 per 1000 people in 2005 to exactly 400 in 2009 before falling to the original figure in 2015. Car ownership in Country 2 experienced a similar trend, reaching a peak of 550 per 1000 of the population in 2009. However, the figure for cars in Country 3 dropped over the period from 650 per 1000 of the population in 2005 to roughly 560 in 2015. While the number of cars owned in Country 4 remained stable during the period at 700 per 1000 people, similar to the European average. In Country 5, the figures were much higher than the European average. In 2005 there were 910 cars per 1000 of the population, this figure fell slightly to 890 in 2009 before rising to approximately 990 in 2015. Finally, the average of cars in Europe witnessed growth from 700 per 1000 people in 2005 to nearly 800 in 2015.
The
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given
bar chart illustrates the
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number
of
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people
who
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own
a
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car
in 5 various European
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countries
in 2005, 2009, 2015 and compares it with the European average.

Looking at the chart, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
clearly
that there was a rise in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
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cars
per 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Europe over the period.
In addition
,
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Country
5 maintained a
relatively
high
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number
of
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cars
compared to the other 4 countries.

There was an increase in the
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
owed in
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Country
1
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 300 to 1000"?
from 300 per 1000
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people
in 2005 to exactly 400 in 2009
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before
falling to the original
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figure
in 2015.
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Car
ownership in
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Country
2 experienced a similar trend, reaching a peak of 550 per 1000 of the population in 2009.
However
, the
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figure
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in
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Country
3 dropped over the period
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 650 to 1000"?
from 650 per 1000
of the population in 2005 to roughly 560 in 2015.

While the
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number
of
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cars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
4 remained stable during the period at 700 per 1000
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people
, similar to the European average. In
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Country
5, the
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figures
were much higher than the European average. In 2005 there were 910
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cars
per 1000 of the population, this
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figure
fell
slightly
to 890 in 2009
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
rising to approximately 990 in 2015.
Finally
, the average of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in Europe witnessed growth
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 700 to 1000"?
from 700 per 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in 2005 to
nearly
800 in 2015.
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IELTS academic he number of cars per 1000 people in 5 European countries

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
236 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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