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he line graph above described the expenditure on education, health care and pension in a country from 2001 to 2051

he line graph above described the expenditure on education, health care and pension in a country from 2001 to 2051 0Meo1
The line graph above described the time which many people spent on studying, health care and pension in a country from 2001 to 2051. Overall, the most noticeable feature is that there was an upward trend in the data of pension number, while the figure for medical care and education witnessed a drop. It was also apparented that all of them will be surpassed in the future. From 2001 to now, the percentage of education ranked first, with nearly 15%, as opposed to the figure for the pension one, at 6%. Over first 20 years, the number of pension stayed unchanged. Besides, the portion of medical care and education had small changes. About next 20 years, pension's percentage wil surpass the health service's one at just under 10% in 2029. In the same period, the number of studying time can surpass the pension's one, with approxiamately 14% in 2041. Go through 50 years, the number of pension has a fast change, it is reaching the highest number at 18% in 2051. In the opposite side, the percentage of learning time has a tiny change, it may stay unchangeable from 2021 to 2051. The last line ranks
The line graph above
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described
the time which
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many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spent on studying, health care and
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pension
in a country from 2001 to 2051.
Overall
, the most noticeable feature is that there was an upward trend in the data of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pension
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
, while the figure for medical care and education witnessed a drop. It was
also
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apparented
that all of them will
be surpassed
in the future.

From 2001 to
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now
, the percentage of education ranked
first
, with
nearly
15%, as opposed to the figure for the
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pension
one, at 6%. Over
first
20 years, the
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pension
stayed unchanged.
Besides
, the portion of medical care and education had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. About
next
20 years, pension's percentage
Possible spelling mistake found.
wil
surpass the health service's one at
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just
under 10% in 2029. In the same period, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of studying time can surpass the pension's one, with
Possible spelling mistake found.
approxiamately
14% in 2041.

Go through 50 years, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pension
has a
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fast
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, it is reaching the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
at 18% in 2051. In the opposite side, the percentage of learning time has a tiny
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, it may stay unchangeable from 2021 to 2051. The last line
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
ranks
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IELTS academic he line graph above described the expenditure on education, health care and pension in a country from 2001 to 2051

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
195 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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