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he given bar charts illustrate the number of honey-bee colonies and the amount of honey production in the United States over the period of 40 years, starting from 1970.

he given bar charts illustrate the number of honey-bee colonies and the amount of honey production in the United States over the period of 40 years, starting from 1970. KP0w
Truong Nhat Hao Writing task 1 Portfolio 5 The given bar charts illustrate the number of honey-bee colonies and the amount of honey production in the United States over the period of 40 years, starting from 1970. Overall, it is clear that there were a number of significant changes in the number of honey-bee and their production. Moreover, they both experienced a downward trend over the last 20 years of the period shown. Between 1970 and 1990, the number of honey-bee colonies stood at 4 million in 1970 before increasing slightly and reaching a peak of nearly 4. 2 million in 1980 and decreasing quickly to 3. 5 million in the next 10 years, 1990. While, the amount of honey production experienced a dramatic decrease of 20, 000 tonnes from 130, 000 tonnes in 1970 to 110, 000 tonnes in 1980, prior to recovering to 120, 000 tonnes in 1990. Over the following 20 years, both the number of honey-bee colonies and their production dropped constantly over the period. Honey-bee hive’s figure decreased steadily, with the figure being at about 2. 5 million in 2000 and continued to steadily fall before hitting a low of nearly 1. 8 million. In the same period, the production of honey dropped sharply, after experiencing a quick decrease and being close to 100, 000 tonnes, the production of honeybee’s figure fall constantly and hit a low of 60, 000 tonnes. (216)
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Nhat
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Writing task 1

Portfolio 5

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar charts illustrate the
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number
of honey-bee colonies and the amount of honey
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production
in the United States
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over
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
of 40 years, starting from 1970.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there were a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of honey-bee and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
.
Moreover
, they both experienced a downward trend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the last 20 years of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
shown.

Between 1970 and 1990, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of honey-bee colonies stood at 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 1970
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
increasing
slightly
and reaching a peak of
nearly
4. 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 1980 and decreasing
quickly
to 3. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in the
next
10 years, 1990. While, the amount of honey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
experienced a dramatic decrease of 20, 000 tonnes from 130, 000 tonnes in 1970 to 110, 000 tonnes in 1980, prior to recovering to 120, 000 tonnes in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
1990. Over
the following 20 years, both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of honey-bee colonies and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
dropped
constantly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
. Honey-bee hive’s figure decreased
steadily
, with the figure being at about 2. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 2000 and continued to
steadily
fall
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
hitting a low of
nearly
1. 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. In the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
of honey dropped
sharply
, after experiencing a quick decrease and being close to 100, 000 tonnes, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
of honeybee’s figure fall
constantly
and hit a low of 60, 000 tonnes. (216)
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IELTS academic he given bar charts illustrate the number of honey-bee colonies and the amount of honey production in the United States over the period of 40 years, starting from 1970.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
236 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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