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The line graph shows the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universtities over the decade.

The line graph shows the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universtities over the decade. DEVj
The line graph shows the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universtities over the decade. It can be easily deducted from the graph that the number of local students enrolling in the universities is comparatively higher than the Overseas students. However the total rate of students enrolment has been linear in Overseas students compared to local students. On a positive note, we can see the total of overseas students have been tripled since 2001 to 2010 & has been an exponential growth. Whereas, the commencing students has been doubled from 20000 to 40000 over the decade. The total number of local students enrolling to the universities has been exponential curve until 2007 and it can depicted the saturation point is met and is being constant until 2010. Although the commencing local students has increased from 2000 to 2001, later we see the graph it continued to be on same relative level through out the decade.
The line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolments' is British English.
enrolments
of
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overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
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local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in Australian
Possible spelling mistake found.
universtities
over the decade.

It can be
easily
deducted from the graph that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
enrolling in the universities is
comparatively
higher than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Overseas
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students
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the total rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolment' is British English.
enrolment
has been linear in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Overseas
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students
compared to
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local
students.

On a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
note, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the total of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
been tripled
since 2001 to 2010 & has been an exponential growth.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, the commencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
has
been doubled
from 20000 to 40000 over the decade.

The total number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
enrolling to the universities has been exponential curve until 2007 and it can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "depict"
depicted
the saturation point
is met
and is being constant until 2010. Although the commencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
has increased from 2000 to 2001, later we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the graph it continued to be on same relative level
Did you mean "throughout"?
through out
the decade.

IELTS academic The line graph shows the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universtities over the decade.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
158 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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