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he bar graph shows the average hours of daily sunshine throughout the year in two cities of Australia.

he bar graph shows the average hours of daily sunshine throughout the year in two cities of Australia. mxVr
The given bar graph provides information on the mean hours of daily sunshine received in Sydney and Perth all throught the year. Overall, it is evident that Perth receives more sunshine in the begining of the year and during winter months in comparison with Sydney which receives higher amount only through winter. To begin with, the highest number of hours Sydney gets is eight hours in a year. Where January, August, September, October, November and December obtain sunlight upto eight hours. The lowest is in the couse of May and June which gets only six hours. Finally, during the months of Feburary, March, April and July it acquires nearly 7 hours of sunrays. On the other hand, Perth's highest time of sunlight obtained is almost 11 hours. Nearly half a year gains sunlight for more than eight hours a day. However, during June, July, and August to drops drastically by only getting about 5 hours a day which is the lowest amount of daylight received in a year. Moreover, both the cities gaing the same amount during the months of April and May. In conclusion, it is obvious that Sydney recevies daylight for an average of about 7 hours of the year while Perth obtains almost 8 hours in a year.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph provides information on the mean
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hours
of daily sunshine received in Sydney and Perth all
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throught
the year.

Overall
, it is evident that Perth receives more sunshine in the
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begining
of the
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year
and during winter months
in comparison
with Sydney which receives higher amount
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
through winter.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the highest number of
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hours
Sydney
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
is eight
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hours
in a
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year
. Where January, August, September, October, November and December obtain sunlight
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upto
eight
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hours
. The lowest is in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
couse
of May and June which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
six
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hours
.
Finally
, during the months of
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Feburary
, March, April and July it acquires
nearly
7
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hours
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
sunrays
.

On the other hand
, Perth's highest time of sunlight obtained is almost 11
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hours
.
Nearly
half a
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year
gains sunlight for more than eight
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hours
a day.
However
, during June, July, and August to drops
drastically
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
getting about 5
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hours
a day which is the lowest amount of daylight received in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
Moreover
, both the cities
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gaing
the same amount during the months of April and May.

In conclusion
, it is obvious that Sydney
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recevies
daylight for an average of about 7
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hours
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
while Perth obtains almost 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
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IELTS academic he bar graph shows the average hours of daily sunshine throughout the year in two cities of Australia.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
211 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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