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gross domestic production from IT and Service industry of the UK

gross domestic production from IT and Service industry of the UK D6rRk
The bar chart shows the GDP from IT industry and Service industry of the UK during the year 1992 to 2000. Overall, during the year 1992 to 2000 the IT industry rocketed up while Service industry gradually grew. In 1992 the IT industry have 7% whereas, in 2000 it increased to 17%. Service industry in 1992 have went down to 4% whereas, in the year 2000 it went up to 8%. On the contrary, in 1994 IT industry has 8%, while 1998 it shot up to 14%. The Service industry in 1994 went to 6. 1% when compared to 1998 it gradually increased to 7%. Between 1992 to 2000 IT industry reached their highest level when compared to Service industry it fell down.
The bar chart
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shows
the GDP from IT
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industry
and
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Service
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industry
of the UK during the year 1992 to 2000.
Overall
, during the year 1992 to 2000 the IT
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industry
rocketed up while
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Service
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industry
gradually
grew. In 1992 the IT
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industry
have 7% whereas, in 2000 it increased to 17%.
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Service
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industry
in 1992 have
Use past participle here: "gone".
went
down to 4% whereas, in the year 2000 it went up to 8%.
On the contrary
, in 1994 IT
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industry
has 8%, while 1998 it shot up to 14%. The
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Service
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industry
in 1994 went to 6. 1% when compared to 1998 it
gradually
increased to 7%.
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "Between 1992 and 2000".
Between 1992 to 2000
IT
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industry
reached their highest level when compared to
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Service
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industry
it fell down.
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IELTS academic gross domestic production from IT and Service industry of the UK

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
123 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
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Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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