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The chart below shows the plans of Bulgarian people aged 15-60 concerning leaving Bulgaria and living or working in another country in 2001 and 2006.

The chart below shows the plans of Bulgarian people aged 15-60 concerning leaving Bulgaria and living or working in another country in 2001 and 2006. d5ddp
The bar chart shows drafts of Bulgarian inhabitants aged 15-60 deciding to stay in their country or leaving it in order to work or recide permanently in 2001 and 2006. In 2001, people who had no attention to depart their country had the biggest population by 70%. On the contrary other groups of citizens who wanted to leave Bulgaria was much lower at all. For example, dwellers who had purpose of working and living abroad for a certain period of time had seven and five percent respectively. However, staying abroad for the rest of life was less common(8) compared with the number of tourists(10) who are originally went of from Bulgaria. When it comes to 2006, a pair of populations grew marginally but the others went down slightly except the emigrants because they have been steadily over the period. For instance, the quantity of visitors from the place decreased by 4% contrary to the rise of Bulgarians who wanted to live overseas for a short stretch of time by the same rate. It is interesting that the changes of number of individuals who went foreigns to do work for awhile was identical to the population of who did not want to abandon Bulgaria, but the former fell down and the latter climbed. It was three percent. In conclusion, they had not changed much through the years. Albeit, most people had not desire to be immigrants.
The bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
drafts of Bulgarian inhabitants aged 15-60 deciding to stay in their country or leaving it in order to work or
Possible spelling mistake found.
recide
permanently
in 2001 and 2006.

In 2001,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
had no attention to depart their country had the biggest population by 70%.
On the contrary
other groups of citizens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
Bulgaria was much lower at all.
For example
, dwellers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
had purpose of working and living abroad for a certain period of time had seven and five percent
respectively
.
However
, staying abroad for the rest of life was less common(8) compared with the number of tourists(10)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
originally
Consider using a past participle here: "gone".
went
of from Bulgaria.

When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to 2006, a pair of populations grew
marginally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the others went down
slightly
except the emigrants
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have been
steadily
over the period.
For instance
, the quantity of visitors from the place decreased by 4% contrary to the rise of Bulgarians
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
overseas for a short stretch of time by the same rate. It is interesting that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
of number of individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
went
Possible spelling mistake found.
foreigns
to do work for
Did you mean "a while"?
awhile
was identical to the population of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
did not want to abandon Bulgaria,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the former fell down and the latter climbed. It was three percent.

In conclusion
, they had not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
much through the years. Albeit, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had not
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "desired".
desire
to be immigrants.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the plans of Bulgarian people aged 15-60 concerning leaving Bulgaria and living or working in another country in 2001 and 2006.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
235 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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