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Graphs shows the viwership of diffrent tv program among three diffrent age groups

Graphs shows the viwership of diffrent tv program among three diffrent age groups kWp3W
In the given bie charts age group which are we 10-15 years observe three different old 16-20 years old ナ and $1. 25 years of age, the information provided in the percentage Cartoon whereas is most popular in 10-15 years old which is 26. in lowest every one 16-20 cite group it stand on 150 which all among age group. The view of film in is approximate equal it move around 20. Apart from that News having an eye catching numbers. that, it is 6 10-15 age group third of whole pie chart and 16-20 year having thrice in and exactly 21-25 of the one age group 10-15 age group
In the
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given
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bie
charts
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age
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group
which are we 10-15 years observe three
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different
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old
16-20 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
ナ and $1. 25 years of
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age
, the information provided in the percentage

Cartoon whereas is most popular in 10-15 years
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old
which is 26.
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in
lowest every one 16-20 cite
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group
it stand on 150 which all among
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
. The view of film in is approximate equal it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
around 20. Apart from that News having an
'eye catching' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "eye-catching".
eye catching
numbers.
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that
, it is 6 10-15
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age
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group
third of whole pie chart and 16-20
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year
having thrice in and exactly 21-25 of the one
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age
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group
10-15
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age
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group
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IELTS academic Graphs shows the viwership of diffrent tv program among three diffrent age groups

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
109 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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