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Graph shows number of visitor visited the Tabard Towers Theme Park.

Graph shows number of visitor visited the Tabard Towers Theme Park. nkLK
The graph illusrtrate number of visitor visited the Tabard Towers Theme Park. In first three month their were almost 10 percent increase which is upto 40, 000 thousand. But in Apirl and May, we obsreved a good amount of increase it reached nearly 70 to 80 thousand. However, their was very sharp decline in the month of June only 20, 000 thousand visitor visited. But, In June their was an explosion of visitor more than 80 percent which was marked at 120, 000 approx. After six month their were very normal ups and downs the highest number of visitor were in sept. and form month octomber continous decline was obsrved till the end of the year
The graph
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illusrtrate
number of
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visitor
visited the
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Tabard
Towers Theme Park. In
first
three
Possible agreement error. The noun 'month' seems to be countable, so consider using: "months".
month
their were almost 10 percent increase which is
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upto
40, 000 thousand.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in
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Apirl
and May, we
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obsreved
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of increase it reached
nearly
70 to 80 thousand.
However
,
Did you mean "there"?
their
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sharp decline in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of June
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
20, 000 thousand
Possible agreement error. The noun 'visitor' seems to be countable, so consider using: "visitors".
visitor
visited.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, In June
Did you mean "there"?
their
was an explosion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitor
more than 80 percent which
was marked
at 120, 000 approx. After six
Possible agreement error. The noun 'month' seems to be countable, so consider using: "months".
month
their were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
normal ups and downs the highest number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitor
were in
Possible spelling mistake found.
sept
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
form
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
Possible spelling mistake found.
octomber
Possible spelling mistake found.
continous
decline was
Possible spelling mistake found.
obsrved
till the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
year
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IELTS academic Graph shows number of visitor visited the Tabard Towers Theme Park.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
115 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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