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graph on ways teenagers communicate with each other

graph on ways teenagers communicate with each other 73nxn
The graph presents data showing various ways teenagers aged 12-19 communicated in one state in the United States over a period of 3 years. Overall there was the widespread adoption of new technology during these years. The percentage of text messaging was 30% in November 2006 and then it gradually rose to 40% in February 2008 and later on we remark the significant peak making it the most popular way of communication with 54%. We can also notice from the graph the percentage of talking face-to-face alternated between 40% and 30%. The percentage of calls on the cell phones maintained around the same level. Meanwhile, we notice a drop in using email after a time of stability.
The graph presents data showing various ways
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
aged 12-19 communicated in one state in the United States over a period of 3 years.
Overall
there was the widespread adoption of new technology during these years. The percentage of text messaging was 30% in November 2006 and then it
gradually
rose to 40% in February 2008 and later on we remark the significant peak making it the most popular way of communication with 54%. We can
also
notice from the graph the percentage of talking face-to-face alternated between 40% and 30%. The percentage of calls on the cell phones maintained around the same level. Meanwhile, we notice a drop in using email after a time of stability.
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IELTS academic graph on ways teenagers communicate with each other

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
117 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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