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graph of boys and girls playing different sports

graph of boys and girls playing different sports WY830
The given bar graph compares the number of boys and girls who played six different sports (tennis, badminton, cycling, swimming, football and hockey) in a town of England in 2012. Overall, the number of boys who played football was 60 making it the highest played sports by any gender while for girls this number was highest in swimming at 50. Hockey was the least liked sports for both the genders with only 15 boys and less than 10 girls playing it. The sports in which the count of boys led the chart was tennis, cycling, football and hockey with 50, 35, 60 and 15 numbers respectively. Badminton and swimming were the only sports which girls played more than boys and their numbers were 40 and 50 respectively. The difference in numbers was most significant in football with girls being only 33% of the number of guys. This difference was least observed in swimming where the number of girls was only 20% lesser than that of guys
The
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given
bar graph compares the
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number
of
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boys
and
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girls
who
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played
six
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different
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sports
(tennis, badminton, cycling, swimming,
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football
and hockey) in a town of England in 2012.

Overall
, the
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number
of
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boys
who
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played
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football
was 60 making it the highest
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played
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sports
by any gender while for
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girls
this
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number
was highest in swimming at 50. Hockey was the least liked
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sports
for both the genders with
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only
15
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boys
and less than 10
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girls
playing it.

The
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sports
in which the count of
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boys
led the chart was tennis, cycling,
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football
and hockey with 50, 35, 60 and 15
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numbers
respectively
. Badminton and swimming were the
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only
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sports
which
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girls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
played
more than
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boys
and their
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numbers
were 40 and 50
respectively
.

The difference in
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numbers
was most significant in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
with
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girls
being
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only
33% of the
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number
of guys. This difference was least observed in swimming where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
20% lesser than that of
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guys
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IELTS academic graph of boys and girls playing different sports

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
165 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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