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Grange park map in 1920 and now

Grange park map in 1920 and now Q55XP
The given stracture of public park in 1920 and now. It shows the various changes made in Greange park. There is a drastic change in 1920 Grange park and now, except rose garden in north west side and north and south side entrance. In 1920 there was change and construct amphil hall for concerts, in 1920 there was a middle of park fountain that now change to rose garden and all four side of garden there is seats insted of glass house change to water feature. In 1920 north east side rose garden and pound for water plants was there but today insted of rose garden there is cafe constructed and in place of pounf for water plant, now its children's play area. There is one new thing added out side of Greage park is entrance of underground carpark. All in all this Greance park in 1920 was more specias then today but its amenities are more then 1920.
The
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given
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stracture
of public
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park
in 1920 and
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now
. It
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shows
the various
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changes
made in
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Greange
park.

There is a drastic
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change
in 1920 Grange
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park
and
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now
, except
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rose
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garden
in
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
north west
side and north and south side entrance. In 1920 there was
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change
and construct
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amphil
hall for concerts, in 1920 there was a middle of
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park
fountain that
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now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
to
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rose
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garden
and all four side of
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garden
Did you mean "there are seats"?
there is seats
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insted
of glass
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
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change
to water feature.

In 1920
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
north east
side
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rose
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garden
and pound for water plants was there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
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today
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insted
of
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rose
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garden
there is
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
constructed and in place of
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pounf
for water plant,
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now
its children's play area. There is one new thing
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added
Did you mean "outside"?
out side
of
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Greage
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park
is entrance of underground
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carpark
.

All in all this
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Greance
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park
in 1920 was more
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specias
then
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today
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its amenities are more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
1920.
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IELTS academic Grange park map in 1920 and now

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
159 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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