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Grange Park development from 2010

Grange Park development from 2010 q5ygG
The maps illustrate how Grange Parks developed from 1920 until today. Overall, Grange Park modernized its entertainment areas and relaxing corners. Most of the green areas of the park were replaced with leisure facilities. Regarding the north part of the Grange park, one of the Rose gardens which were located in the north-east and soth-west were combined and rebuilt instead of the previous fountain. One of these Rose gardens was replaced with a cafe. Moreover, a pond for water plants next to the Rose garden was converted into a play area for children. However, entrances that were situated in the north and south sides of the park remained unchanged. Turning to the south side, the glasshouse which was in the south-east was demolished and rebuilt as a water feature. On the other hand, the stage for the musicians was expanded and was modernized into an amphitheatre for concerts. Likewise, all the seats that were located in the corners of the park were merged together and were reconstructed in the center of the park around the Rose garden.
The maps illustrate how Grange
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Parks
developed from 1920 until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

Overall
, Grange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Park
modernized its entertainment areas and relaxing corners. Most of the green areas of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
were replaced
with leisure facilities.

Regarding the north part of the Grange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
, one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gardens
which
were located
in the north-east and
Possible spelling mistake found.
soth-west
were combined
and rebuilt
instead
of the previous fountain. One of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gardens
was replaced
with a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
.
Moreover
, a pond for water plants
next
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
garden
was converted
into a play area for children.
However
, entrances that
were situated
in the north and south sides of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
remained unchanged.

Turning to the south side, the glasshouse which was in the south-east
was demolished
and rebuilt as a water feature.

On the other hand
, the stage for the musicians
was expanded
and
was modernized
into an
Possible spelling mistake. 'amphitheatre' is British English.
amphitheatre
for concerts.
Likewise
, all the seats that
were located
in the corners of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
were merged
together and
were reconstructed
in the center of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
garden
.
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IELTS academic Grange Park development from 2010

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
177 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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