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Global Mobile Phone cell in 2009 TO 2011

Global Mobile Phone cell in 2009 TO 2011 dkq02
This report concerns five cell phone companies that sold millions of phones over three specific years, and the bar chart details each mobile corporation's performance in each period. Generally speaking, in 2009 and 2011, Nokia led the pack, whereas Apple took the last place in 2009, and consumers purchased ZTE the least in 2011. Another clearly evident revelation is that Samsung surpassed everyone in sales in 2013, and ZTE repeated its 2011 placement. Finally, ZTE sales rose each year, while LG minimally decreased over this time. Samsung led Apple in 2009 by about 200 million in sales, and this difference slightly increased to a difference of around 220 million sales by 2011. In 2009 Nokia sold approximately 450 million phones, which exceeded LG by 325 million and ZTE by 400 million! In 2011 LG bettered ZTE sales by around 25 million, but in 2013 we can see a reversal with ZTE moving moderately ahead by a few million. In 2013 Nokia sales fell by 200 million from their 2009 transactions; oppositely, Samsung doubled its consumer purchases by 200 million. Apple sold six times as many phones in 2013 than in 2009. By 2013 sold 100 million less in phone merchandise.
This report concerns five cell
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phone
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companies
that sold
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millions
of
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phones
over three specific years, and the bar chart
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details
each mobile corporation's performance in each period.

Generally
speaking, in 2009 and 2011, Nokia led the pack, whereas Apple took the last place in 2009, and consumers
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purchased
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ZTE
the least in 2011. Another
clearly
evident revelation is that Samsung surpassed everyone in
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sales
in 2013, and
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ZTE
repeated its 2011 placement.
Finally
,
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ZTE
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sales
rose each year, while LG
minimally
decreased over this time.

Samsung led Apple in 2009 by about 200
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million
in
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sales
, and this difference
slightly
increased to a difference of around 220
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million
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sales
by 2011. In 2009 Nokia sold approximately 450
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million
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phones
, which exceeded LG by 325
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million
and
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ZTE
by 400
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million
! In 2011 LG bettered
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ZTE
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sales
by around 25
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million
,
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but
in 2013 we can
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see
a reversal with
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ZTE
moving
moderately
ahead by a few million.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
2013 Nokia
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sales
fell by 200
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million
from their 2009 transactions;
oppositely
, Samsung doubled its consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
by 200
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million
. Apple sold six times as
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many
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phones
in 2013 than in 2009. By 2013 sold 100
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million
less in
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phone
merchandise.
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IELTS academic Global Mobile Phone cell in 2009 TO 2011

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
200 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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