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Given in the line graph is data on the proportion of people born in the various areas who lived in Australia over the course of 35 years commencing from 1976 to 2011.

Given in the line graph is data on the proportion of people born in the various areas who lived in Australia over the course of 35 years commencing from 1976 to 2011. R5mEp
Given in the line graph is data on the proportion of people born in the various areas who lived in Australia over the course of 35 years commencing from 1976 to 2011. As can be inferred from the graph, While the rate of Australian people born in Asia showed an uptrend, those in The UK declined. Meanwhile, the percentage of people living in Australia who were born in Other Regions and Total were witnessed a fluctuation. Another key feature is that the total Australian populations born in other regions took up the most. At the outset of the survey, the rate of Australian people born in Asia constituted about 2, 5%, which then more than septuple by 2011. Conversely, This figure in The UK was shy on 15%, then it experienced a significant decrease to exactly 5% in 2011. In 1976, about 23% was the proportion of the total population in Australia who were born in other regions. This figure declined to 20% in 2001 before witnessing a rise of about 5% by 2011. Fluctuating with a lesser degree was the rate of people in Australia who were born in Other areas. Starting at about 11%, this figure declined slightly to 8% in 1986. After which, it displayed a significant increase of 6% prior to dwindling by about 1% by 2011.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
in the line graph is data on the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
born in the various areas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in Australia over the course of 35 years commencing from 1976 to 2011.

As can
be inferred
from the graph, While the rate of Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
born in Asia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an uptrend, those in The UK declined. Meanwhile, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in Australia
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were born
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
Regions and Total
were witnessed
a fluctuation. Another key feature is that the total Australian populations born in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
regions took up the most.

At the outset of the survey, the rate of Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
born in Asia constituted about 2, 5%, which then more than
Possible spelling mistake found.
septuple
by 2011.
Conversely
, This figure in The UK was shy on 15%, then it experienced a significant decrease to exactly 5% in 2011.

In 1976, about 23% was the proportion of the total population in Australia
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were born
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
regions. This figure declined to 20% in 2001
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
witnessing a rise of about 5% by 2011. Fluctuating with a lesser degree was the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Australia
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were born
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
areas. Starting at about 11%, this figure declined
slightly
to 8% in 1986. After which, it displayed a significant increase of 6% prior to dwindling by about 1% by 2011.
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IELTS academic Given in the line graph is data on the proportion of people born in the various areas who lived in Australia over the course of 35 years commencing from 1976 to 2011.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
221 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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