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gender roles in work place

gender roles in work place nXLE2
In this bar chart, there are a horizontal and vertical axis. The horizontal axis shows research student and vertical axis indicates the academic discipline. If we compare the lessons that related to mathematics, we have more Men but the lessons that related to biology the statistic of women’s has increased. If we have an over, view if we compare the statistic of men and women the men’s have a large population in the university but woman’s they have a small population. Men in the future they have a family and they must have income. One of the factors that make a good job for Men is college education but woman’s does not have a good situation in the society and because of that, the most woman does not have any plan or goal to get college education. Women have a great management in the house and if we think about it, woman’s can be a manager in work place, men have a good management craft, and they can be in the work place
In this bar chart, there are a horizontal and vertical
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "axes", "axises"?
axis
. The horizontal axis
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
research student and vertical axis indicates the academic discipline.

If we compare the lessons that related to mathematics, we have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Men
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the lessons that related to biology the statistic of women’s has increased.

If we have an over, view if we compare the statistic of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and women the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men’s
have a large population in the university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman’s
they have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
population.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
in the future they have a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
family and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have income. One of the factors that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Men
is college education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman’s
does not have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
situation in the society and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that, the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
does not have any plan or goal to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
college education.

Women have a great management in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman’s
can be a manager in work place,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
management craft, and they can be in the work place
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IELTS academic gender roles in work place

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
172 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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