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full-time university students spend a lot of time studying. Some say they should do other activities too

full-time university students spend a lot of time studying. Some say they should do other activities too xxQB1
A majority of people the opinion of high school students should also do some activities. I totally agree of this opinion, students should do many activities to have a rest of their lessons. In the forthcoming paragraphs, i will explain my point of view. Firstly, studying too hard is also might be useless. Nowadays many students think if they try hard they can achieve their ambitions. This opinion is not totally true, because knowledge and result depends on with not trying or working with painstaking, it depends on balance of between many activities. For instance, many people study hard but cannot have a result because they have no balanced schedule of diary activity like studying and relaxing doing hobbies. Moreover, it is clear only studying is sometimes nothing. Secondly, doing many activities helps for students of better study in free time of study time. If university students do activities regularly, we can see the increase of quality of study marks. For example, sport helps to them to be more active and energetic, art as a hobby beneficial to student's brain work. There is a university in Germany, students learn as a holiday camp. University located next to the beach and they can swim any time to mislead of stress. We can see many activities helps to learn better. To conclude, students who study full-time university doing variety of activities helps to their learning quality. For this reason i completely agree of playing and relaxing from time to time of students.
A majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
the opinion of high school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
also
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
of this opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
to have a rest of their lessons. In the forthcoming paragraphs,
Did you mean "I"?
i
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my point of view.

Firstly
, studying too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
is
also
might be useless. Nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
if they try
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
they can achieve their ambitions. This opinion is not
totally
true,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
knowledge and result depends on with not trying or working with painstaking, it depends on balance of between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
cannot have a result
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have no balanced schedule of diary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
like studying and relaxing doing hobbies.
Moreover
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
studying is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
nothing.

Secondly
, doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
regularly
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the increase of quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
marks.
For example
, sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to them to be more active and energetic, art as a hobby beneficial to student's brain work. There is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
in Germany,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learn as a holiday camp.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
located
next
to the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
beach and
they can swim any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to mislead of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to learn better.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
full-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
doing variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to their learning quality.
For this reason
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
of playing and relaxing from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
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IELTS academic full-time university students spend a lot of time studying. Some say they should do other activities too

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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