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Frenton before and after the construction of several facilities

Frenton before and after the construction of several facilities Q89Wx
The maps demonstrate a Frenton before and after the construction of several facilities during a 22-year period starting from 1990. As can be seen from the plans, this university sport centre has undergo several significant changs. The most striking changes was the chopped down of some trees and the construction of more modern buildings. In 1990, playing fields with trees was constructed, however it was vanished to make way for blocks of flats. Likewise, the trees were chopped down to make way for technopark in 2012. In addition, the bank was converted into a restaurant and the hospital is planned to double in size. Particularly, the school and the library were still remained over the 22-year. Meanwhile, cafe and park was demolished to reconstructed hotel and golf courses, additionally, the theatre was replaced by a cinema. Moreover, the houses were developed into some blocks of flats, at the same time, the shops was converted into a supermarket.
The maps demonstrate a
Possible spelling mistake found.
Frenton
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and after the construction of several facilities during a 22-year period starting from 1990.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the plans, this university sport
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
has
Use past participle here: "undergone".
undergo
several significant
Possible spelling mistake found.
changs
. The most striking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
was the chopped down of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
trees and the construction of more modern buildings.

In 1990, playing fields with trees
was constructed
,
however
it
was vanished
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
way for blocks of flats.
Likewise
, the trees
were chopped
down to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
way for
Possible spelling mistake found.
technopark
in 2012.
In addition
, the bank
was converted
into a restaurant and the hospital
is planned
to double in size.
Particularly
, the school and the library were
still
remained over the 22-year. Meanwhile,
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
and park
was demolished
to reconstructed hotel and golf courses,
additionally
, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
was replaced
by a cinema.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
were developed
into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
blocks of flats, at the same time, the shops
was converted
into a supermarket.
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IELTS academic Frenton before and after the construction of several facilities

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
157 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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