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the pie chart below illustrates the students use of online resources

the pie chart below illustrates the students use of online resources 3x8JY
The provided pie chart depicts the comparison among six distinct forms of online resources which people used to update according to student groups at Intel Secondary School Library in the year 2014. Overall, it is evident that interactive games gained the most popularity while science journals witnessed the least preference during the same year registered. Looking at the graph in more detail, we can see that the proportion of interactive games transcended all surveyed categories with precisely 30%, followed by fictional electronic books and online magazines, sharing a marginal analogous figure with respective figures being 20% and 18%. Turning to the remaining feature, it is manifest that an average ratio of students showed their interest in non-fiction e-books with roughly 15%, surpassing that of online dictionaries close to 11%. Further analyzing, as clearly enumerated, science journals were the least prevalent platform. Indeed, a negligible fraction of approximately more than 10% of students chose them to obtain information.
The provided pie chart depicts the comparison among six distinct forms of online resources which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to update according to student groups at Intel Secondary School Library in the year 2014.

Overall
, it is evident that interactive games gained the most popularity while science journals witnessed the least preference during the same year registered.

Looking at the graph in more detail, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the proportion of interactive games transcended all surveyed categories with
precisely
30%, followed by fictional electronic books and online magazines, sharing a marginal analogous figure with respective figures being 20% and 18%.

Turning to the remaining feature, it is manifest that an average ratio of students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
their interest in non-fiction e-books with roughly 15%, surpassing that of online dictionaries close to 11%.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
analyzing, as
clearly
enumerated, science journals were the least prevalent platform.
Indeed
, a negligible fraction of approximately more than 10% of students chose them to obtain information.
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IELTS academic the pie chart below illustrates the students use of online resources

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
157 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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