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Free time activities of the elderly in the u.s. from 1980 to the 2010

Free time activities of the elderly in the u. s. from 1980 to the 2010 XldNE
The random multi line graph dispute the information regarding the laser activity which were performed by the senior citizen in the US of America between 1980 and 2010 as per shown in the illustration The hacking was increased continuously with no fluctuations which were increased to 20% to 18% from 1980 to 2010 in 1986 the serving the internet shows the speedly Rise and reached at 10% in 2001 elder people of us a preferred reading in the beginning only 30% but after that which increased by 10% in 2008 was gradually decrease around 20% moreover reading and surfing the internet Rose by the same rate which were accounted 60% and 50% respectively in the last one decade moving towards the father details in the initial year watching television was mostly prepper in the free time activities by the US elders which increased by 10% in 2004 as interest in the theatre was fell down and reached at 30% in 1990 although it was increased slightly after 1990 however in last it shows the lowest percentage among all similarly watching television also begin drop by 5% in 2010 moreover the most stinking feature is that expect theatre all the least activities were like to buy the elder people of US shown upward Trend
The random multi line graph dispute the information regarding the laser activity which
were performed
by the senior citizen in the US of America between 1980 and 2010 as per shown in the illustration The hacking was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
continuously
with no fluctuations which were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
to 20% to 18% from 1980 to 2010 in 1986 the serving the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
speedly
Rise and reached at 10% in 2001 elder
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of us a preferred reading in the beginning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
30%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after that which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
by 10% in 2008 was
gradually
Consider using a past participle here: "decreased".
decrease
around 20%
moreover
reading and surfing the internet Rose by the same rate which
were accounted
60% and 50%
respectively
in the last one decade moving towards the father
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
in the initial year watching television was
mostly
Possible spelling mistake found.
prepper
in the free time activities by the US elders which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
by 10% in 2004 as interest in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
was fell down and reached at 30% in 1990 although it was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
slightly
after 1990
however
in last it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the lowest percentage among all
similarly
watching television
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
drop by 5% in 2010
moreover
the most stinking feature is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
all the least activities were like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the elder
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of US shown upward Trend

IELTS academic Free time activities of the elderly in the u. s. from 1980 to the 2010

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
212 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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