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Free time activities of the elderly in the U.S.

Free time activities of the elderly in the U. S. JLmL0
The given line graph illustrates information about free time activities of the elderly people in the United States from 1980 to 2010. Overall, it can be seen that hiking was the highest percentage, while theatre ranked the lowest percentage at the end of the period. To begin with, in 1980, watching TV was the most popular activity for elderly people and it was 60%. For the next given 2 years numbers increased moderately to 70%; however, at the end of the period, in 2010, there was a slight decrease of 15%. Afterwards, going to theatre saw a significant reduction from 50% to 30% between 1980 and 1990, while until 2010 numbers grew gradually to above 40%. Following this, reading started at 30% and there was a minimal fluctuation, but in 2010 numbers climb to 60%. Next comes, in the first year, in 1980 proportion of hiking was 20% and this activity saw a considerable rise for the next 3 years and reached a peak at 80%. Finally, the number of elderly who were surfing the internet rapidly went up from 5% to 15% between 1980 and 2000, which is followed by upward trend to 50% in 2010.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph illustrates information about free time activities of the elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the United States from 1980 to 2010.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that hiking was the highest percentage, while
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
ranked the lowest percentage at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in 1980, watching TV was the most popular activity for elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and it was 60%. For the
next
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
2 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
increased
moderately
to 70%;
however
, at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period, in 2010, there was a slight decrease of 15%. Afterwards, going to
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a significant reduction from 50% to 30% between 1980 and 1990, while until 2010
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
grew
gradually
to above 40%. Following this, reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at 30% and there was a minimal fluctuation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2010
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
climb to 60%.
Next
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
, in the
first
year, in 1980 proportion of hiking was 20% and this activity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a considerable rise for the
next
3 years and reached a peak at 80%.
Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of elderly who were surfing the internet
rapidly
went up from 5% to 15% between 1980 and 2000, which
is followed
by upward trend to 50% in 2010.
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IELTS academic Free time activities of the elderly in the U. S.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
197 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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