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Export breakdown for different products

Export breakdown for different products jdGD8
Export breakdown for different products of a country is given in the bar graph for two years while the changes in percentage value across this period is presented by the table. obviosly oil and engineering field were the most powerful businesses in contrast to clothes and farming industries which seemed to have less significant businesses in the country. Gems and jewellery, among others, might be considered as moderate business field with over 40 billion dollars of export achievement for both years. However, it was the only category that experienced a reduction in 2016 export compared to past year. Textile and agricultural products gained equal export level in 2016 (slightly over 30 billion dollars). Although clothes industry showed the most significant export growth among all categories compared to the former business year (over 15%), farming industry experienced almost no change. Concerning export’s growth, design field occupied the second rank after textiles (over 8% growth). In conclusion, export in 2016 is dipped by more than five per cent for gemstones and jewels, whereas noteable export climb ocured in textile business.
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Export
breakdown for
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different
products of a country is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in the bar graph for two years while the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in percentage value across this period
is presented
by the table.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
obviosly
oil and engineering field were the most powerful
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businesses
in contrast
to clothes and farming industries which seemed to have less significant
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businesses
in the country.

Gems and
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
, among others, might
be considered
as moderate
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business
field with
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over
40 billion dollars of
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export
achievement for both years.
However
, it was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
category that experienced a reduction in 2016
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export
compared to past
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year
. Textile and agricultural products gained equal
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export
level in 2016 (
slightly
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over
30 billion dollars). Although clothes industry
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showed
the most significant
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export
growth among all categories compared to the former
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
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(over
15%), farming industry experienced almost no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. Concerning
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export’s
growth, design field occupied the second rank after textiles
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(over
8% growth).

In conclusion
,
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export
in 2016
is dipped
by more than five per cent for gemstones and jewels, whereas
Possible spelling mistake found.
noteable
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export
climb
Possible spelling mistake found.
ocured
in textile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
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IELTS academic Export breakdown for different products

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
178 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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