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PERCEIVED AND ACTUAL LIKELIHOOD OF BEING A VICTIM OF CRIME

PERCEIVED AND ACTUAL LIKELIHOOD OF BEING A VICTIM OF CRIME m2P8n
"The graph shows the perceived danger and actual likelihood of being a victim of crime and also it shows three types of crimes: burglary, car crime and violent crime. The bulgary crime shows that in 2009 the percieived danger is of 15%, however in the next year the percentage goes down 2 points. On the other hand, the likelihood of being victim of a bulgary is of 2% in 2009 whereas in 2010 the porcentage increase 1%. Next of the bulgary statistics in the graph is the car crime statistics which shows that in 2009 the percieived danger is of 21%, nevertheless in 2010 the percentage decrease 2 points. Meanwhile, the likelihood of being victim of a car crime is of 2% in 2009 that in contrast of the next year is the same, that is to say that the porcentage doesnt change. Finally, the violent crime statistics shows that in 2009 the percieived danger is of 15% but in 2010 the percentage dropped 2 points, it shows a similar behavior of percieved danger of the bulgary crime statistics. Conversely, the likelihood of being victim of a violent crime is of 3% in 2009 that in contrast of the next year is the same, that is to say that it shows a similar behavior of the likelihood of being victim of a car crime statistics. "
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
The graph
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
the perceived
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
danger
and actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
likelihood
of being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
victim
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and
also
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
three types of
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crimes
: burglary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and violent crime.

The
Possible spelling mistake found.
bulgary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
that in 2009 the
Possible spelling mistake found.
percieived
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
danger
is of 15%,
however
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
next
year the percentage goes down 2 points.
On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
likelihood
of being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
victim
of a
Possible spelling mistake found.
bulgary
is of 2% in 2009 whereas in 2010 the
Possible spelling mistake found.
porcentage
increase 1%.

Next
of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
bulgary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
statistics
in the graph is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
statistics
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
that in 2009 the
Possible spelling mistake found.
percieived
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
danger
is of 21%,
nevertheless
in 2010 the percentage decrease 2 points. Meanwhile, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
likelihood
of being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
victim
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is of 2% in 2009 that
in contrast
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
next
year is the same,
that is
to say that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
porcentage
Possible spelling mistake found
doesnt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

Finally
, the violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
statistics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
that in 2009 the
Possible spelling mistake found.
percieived
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
danger
is of 15%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2010 the percentage dropped 2 points, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
a similar behavior of
Possible spelling mistake found.
percieved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
danger
of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
bulgary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
statistics
.
Conversely
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
likelihood
of being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
victim
of a violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is of 3% in 2009 that
in contrast
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
next
year is the same,
that is
to say that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
a similar behavior of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
likelihood
of being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
victim
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
statistics
.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"

IELTS academic PERCEIVED AND ACTUAL LIKELIHOOD OF BEING A VICTIM OF CRIME

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
225 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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