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formation of honey by bees process diagram

formation of honey by bees process diagram keOKe
the given picture explains the way of formation of honey by the bees in few steps. firstly, the bees have to build a container which is known as hive. moreover, it also consist of individual build cells formed by group of bees. for next step all the bees might leave there habitat in order to search for fluroscent flowers also they themselves got attracted towards them. then using proboscis a long straw like tongue they suck nectar droplets from the plant. the nectar is then taken back to hive where the process of making honey begins. firstly, it is put into the cells. Then, followed by cooling down of nectar. in order to do this, the bees fan the nectar filled cells with their wings. As a result, the nectar filled cells with their wings. As a result, the nectar looses water content and then finally delicious honey is ready to consumed by humans. overall, the process begins with the honey bees building a hive, and then finishes when the honey is ready to be collected and used which fully completed in seven different steps.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
picture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
the way of formation of honey by the bees in few steps.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
firstly
, the bees
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have to
build a container which
is known
as hive.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
moreover
, it
also
Did you mean "consists"?
consist
of individual build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cells
formed by group of bees.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
next
step all the bees might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
there habitat in order to search for
Possible spelling mistake found.
fluroscent
flowers
also
they themselves
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
attracted towards them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
then
using proboscis a long straw like tongue they suck
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nectar
droplets from the plant.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nectar
is then taken back to hive where the process of making honey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
.
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firstly
, it
is put
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cells
. Then, followed by cooling down of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nectar
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
order to do this, the bees fan the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nectar
filled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cells
with their wings.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nectar
filled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cells
with their wings.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nectar
looses water content and then
finally
delicious honey is ready to consumed by humans.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
, the process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
with the honey bees building a hive, and then finishes when the honey is ready to
be collected
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
which
fully
completed in seven
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
steps.

IELTS academic formation of honey by bees process diagram

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
185 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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