Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

graduates and postgraduates did after leaving college in 2008

graduates and postgraduates did after leaving college in 2008 m85Lr
The two bar charts shows what UK graduates and postgraduates did after leaving college in 2008. The full-time job was excluded. Even after their graduates enormous amount of students decided to study further more after 2008 which requires same for postgraduates. Overall, there are almost more than 65. 000 graduates in total but on the other hand number of postgraduates couldn’t even reach 7, 000. Voluntary work was unpopular for graduates. Although, number of graduates were 8 times more than postgraduates who volunteering. The rest of the graduates were divided to do part-time work or unemployment. They almost hade the same amount but post graduates did part-time work more than choosing to do nothing. Although, there were 16, 235 unemployed graduates more than 1, 625 unemployed postgraduates. In conclusion, many students decided to do further study but those who did voluntary work were very few. Part-time work was not as popular as further studying and unemployment was no more than part-time work but more than voluntary work
The two bar charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
what UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
postgraduates
did after leaving college in 2008. The full-time job
was excluded
.

Even after their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
enormous amount of students decided to study
further
more after 2008 which requires same for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
postgraduates
.
Overall
, there are almost more than 65. 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
in total
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the other hand
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
postgraduates
couldn’t even reach 7, 000.

Voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
was unpopular for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
were 8 times more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
postgraduates
who volunteering. The rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
were divided
to do part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or unemployment. They almost
Possible spelling mistake found.
hade
the same amount
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
post
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
did part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more than choosing to do nothing. Although, there were 16, 235 unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
more than 1, 625 unemployed postgraduates.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students decided to do
further
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
those who did voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few. Part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
was not as popular as
further
studying and unemployment was no more than part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
more than voluntary
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
work
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic graduates and postgraduates did after leaving college in 2008

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
166 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    principal component analysis (PCA)
    principal component analysis (PCA) is an unsupervised chemometric method that simultaneously analyzes all multidimensional information. this is a way to condense the data set, increase interpretability and preserve statistical information as much as decrease data loss. For low dimensionality data, P...
  • 6band
    The table and the bar chart give information about kind of transports which is used to move to work in Houston, Texas.
    We are provided with two graphs, one of them a table, shows how commuting to work with different forms of transport in Houston, Texas. The other one, bar chart, illustrates the amount of CO2 which is emitted from the means of transport showed in Table. Looking in more detail, it can be seen that th...
  • 6.5band
    What graduate and postgraduate students did following graduation in 2008
    The charts show what UK graduate and postgraduate students did following graduation in 2008 if they did not go into full-time employment in 2008. First look at the two charts, we can see Further Study is the most done by both graduates and postgraduates. Where in the graduates chart, it is at the t...
  • 5band
    The line graph shows information about carbon dioxide emissions in the West
    The line graph illustrates the data about carbon dioxide outflows within the West and East of Someland from 1988 to 2006. Overall, it is clear to see that the total amount of emission in the West is always higher than in the East. According to the line graph, the carbonic acid load increased almos...
  • 6band
    The maps illustrate of Happy Valley shopping center between 1982 and 2012
    The maps depict the experienced modernisation and urbanization of shopping center called Happy Valley from 1982 to 2012. Overall, it is clear that the redevelopment resulted in expansion of the shopping mall and rearrangement of its in-house facilities. According to maps, by 2012, Furniture Retail ...
  • 5band
    The diagram shows how glass bottles are recycled.
    The diagram illustrates the process of glass bottles are recycled. Overall, there are three main stage in this process starting with used glass bottles and ending with new bottles product to customer. First of all, used glass bottles are collected at a collection point. They are then transported to ...