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summer and winter olympics

summer and winter olympics lqxWD
The first bar chart shows which countries have won the most medals in the winter Olympics. It also states how many gold, silver and bronze medals each country has achieved. In contrast, the second graph shows which nations have won the most medals in the summer Olympics. Overall, the first graph shows that in the winter Olympics, Norway has gained the most medals, winning approximately an equal number of gold, silver and bronze medals. It has won about 370 medals, whereas Canada, in fifth place, has won approximately 200 medals. The results of the summer Olympics are quite different, however, with the USA having won the most medals. Overall, the USA has won just over 2, 500 medals, a much higher number than the other four countries on the graph. Russia is the second highest, winning approximately 1, 800 medals. To summarise, the bar charts illustrate how many medals the highest-ranking countries have won in the summer and winter Olympics. The results of each Olympics are very different, with the USA, Russia and Germany being successful in both.
The
first
bar chart
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shows
which
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countries
have won the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medals
in the winter Olympics. It
also
states how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
gold, silver and bronze
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medals
each
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country
has achieved.
In contrast
, the second graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
which nations have won the most
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medals
in the summer Olympics.

Overall
, the
first
graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that in the winter Olympics, Norway has gained the most
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medals
, winning approximately an equal number of gold, silver and bronze
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medals
. It has won about 370
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medals
, whereas Canada, in fifth place, has won approximately 200 medals.

The results of the summer Olympics are quite
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different
,
however
, with the USA having won the most
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medals
.
Overall
, the USA has won
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just
over 2, 500
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medals
, a much higher number than the other four
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countries
on the graph. Russia is the second highest, winning approximately 1, 800 medals.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, the bar charts illustrate how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medals
the highest-ranking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have won in the summer and winter Olympics. The results of each Olympics are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
, with the USA, Russia and Germany being successful in both.
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IELTS academic summer and winter olympics

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
178 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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