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fishing industry in europe

fishing industry in europe m3rEO
The graph depicts information regarding the fishing industry in European countries according to four major indicators. To sum up, the small-scale industry has more employees. Whereas, other four indicators were higher in the big scale industry. It is clearly visible that small-scale industry provided more employment opportunities than big scale industry. There were nearly 5, 00, 000 employees in industrial ships. Whereas, small scale workers were around 120000. Annual catch of food and the industrial process was 29 and 22 million tonnes respectively in the industrial shift. however, fishing boat catches food and the industrial process was roughly 24 and 0 million tonnes. Moreover, annual pay given to big scale industries was 25000 to 350000, which was more then10 times of small scale industries. Consumption of fuel was 65000 and 8500 in both industries.
The graph depicts information regarding the fishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
in European countries according to four major indicators. To sum up, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
-scale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
has more employees.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, other four indicators were higher in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
. It is
clearly
visible that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
-scale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
provided more employment opportunities than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
. There were
nearly
5, 00, 000 employees in
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industrial
ships.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scale
workers were around 120000. Annual catch of food and the
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industrial
process was 29 and 22 million tonnes
respectively
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industrial
shift.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, fishing boat catches food and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industrial
process was roughly 24 and 0 million tonnes.
Moreover
, annual pay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
was 25000 to 350000, which was more then10 times of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
. Consumption of fuel was 65000 and 8500 in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
.
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IELTS academic fishing industry in europe

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
134 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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