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some people claim the children's behaior reflect their parents and some people claim that it's about how the teacger taught

some people claim the children's behaior reflect their parents and some people claim that it's about how the teacger taught 9wdj0
The chart provides worldwide sales of various kind of technical games between 2000 to 2006. The number of sales given in billion dollars. Overall, Handheld games had been most popular during the period of 2000 to 2006. Moreover Console games sales had been decreased over the final year and Mobile phone games and Online games had been surge over that period. To start with, Handheld games were had about 11 billion dollar sales in the year 2000 and it had been grow through out the year 2006 for about 18 billion dollars. Althogh Console games facing some major fall drop during the period of 2000 to 2006 for approximately 6 billion dollars to 3 billion dollars. In addition, Online games were intoduced in 2001 and mobile games in 2002. Furthermore their sales had been move upward in between 2000 to 2006. Online games had more deals than Mobile phone games in the final year nearly 9 billion dollars and 7 billion dollars respectively.
The chart provides worldwide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of various kind of technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 2000 and 2006".
between 2000 to 2006
. The number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in
Use "a billion" or use a number before 'billion'.
billion
dollars.

Overall
, Handheld
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
had been most popular during the period of 2000 to 2006.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
Console
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
had
been decreased
over the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
and Mobile phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
had been surge over that period.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, Handheld
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
were had
about 11
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2000 and it had been
Consider using a past participle here: "grown".
grow
Did you mean "throughout"?
through out
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2006 for about 18
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Althogh
Console
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major fall drop during the period of 2000 to 2006 for approximately 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
to 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
dollars.

In addition
, Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
were
Possible spelling mistake found.
intoduced
in 2001 and mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in 2002.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
had been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
upward in
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 2000 and 2006".
between 2000 to 2006
. Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
had more deals than Mobile phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
nearly
9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
and 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
respectively
.
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IELTS academic some people claim the children's behaior reflect their parents and some people claim that it's about how the teacger taught

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
163 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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