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fastfood is prefered by different age grop

fastfood is prefered by different age grop APaD1
The given bar graph presents the number of people from different age group who spent money on fast-food in 2010. The given data depicted in percentage. According to the graph that interest of all groups of people in fastfood was quite different. It is clear from the chart that pizza and burger are the most prefered by the youngsters as they spent 65% and 50% money on them respectively which is nearly twice as burger was consumed 40% and pizza was consumed 25% by middle age group. While only 10% elders were interested in pizza and burger. There was a marked variation in 70% people of age group 60-79 liked sandwich which was highest among all the age group and it was also similar to age group 40-59 as 65% people were at middle age prefered dosa. All in all, we may say that youngsters were not interested in sandwich and dosa as they have totally different choice than people who are from age group 40-79.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph presents the number of
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people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
who spent money on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food in 2010. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
data depicted in percentage.

According to the graph that interest of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
fastfood
was quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the chart that pizza and burger are the most
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "preferred", the past tense form of the verb 'prefer'?
prefered
by the youngsters as they spent 65% and 50% money on them
respectively
which is
nearly
twice as burger
was consumed
40% and pizza
was consumed
25% by middle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
. While
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% elders
were interested
in pizza and burger.

There was a marked variation in 70%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
60-79 liked sandwich which was highest among all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
and it was
also
similar to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
40-59 as 65%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were at middle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "preferred", the past tense form of the verb 'prefer'?
prefered
Possible spelling mistake found.
dosa
.

All in all, we may say that youngsters were not interested in sandwich and
Possible spelling mistake found.
dosa
as they have
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
choice than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
40-79.

IELTS academic fastfood is prefered by different age grop

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
166 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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