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explain the chart below. people's movement rate

explain the chart below. people's movement rate gqV81
As you can see below, there is a chart illustrates the raise on people’s migration to the capital city of a particular country, between 2000 and 2015. This survey mentions the prime reasons of this movement which we will explain in the next two paragraphs. After 2000, governments commenced to build big universities in the capitals. Hens, movement to these cities for study purposes was increased until 2000. From 2010, a significant sharp ascend rate can be shown due to education targets. Another obvious reason forced people to move to capitals was for family and friends due to the fact that most facilities had been concentrated on these cities. Also, adventure was a logical aim but not as much as another cases. On the contrary, employment had an adverse effect on people’s migration which the sharp decrease from 2010 to 2015 shown in this chart prove this fact that. To sum up, we have reported several reasons which explain the increase on people’s movement to capital cities based on the surveys and investigations, between 2000 and 2015.
As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
below, there is a chart illustrates the raise on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
migration to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
city of a particular country, between 2000 and 2015. This survey mentions the prime reasons of this movement which we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in the
next
two paragraphs.

After 2000,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
commenced to build
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
universities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capitals
. Hens, movement to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for study purposes
was increased
until 2000. From 2010, a significant sharp ascend rate can
be shown
due to education targets. Another obvious reason forced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capitals
was for family and friends due to the fact that most facilities had
been concentrated
on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Also
, adventure was a logical aim
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not as much as another cases.

On the contrary
, employment had an adverse effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
migration which the sharp decrease from 2010 to 2015 shown in this chart prove this fact that.

To sum up, we have reported several reasons which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the increase on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
movement to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
based on the surveys and investigations, between 2000 and 2015.

IELTS academic explain the chart below. people's movement rate

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
177 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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