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Expenses vary from year to year

Expenses vary from year to year BL1J5
The pie charts illustrate about the total income starts from 2010 to 2013. And in this course of time the amount spending on food and cloths vary in a significant way to extradict the income ratio in both years. First of all, it can be observed that, in terms of fruits and vegetables, meat and fish with cloths share a dominating nature in the competitive market having 20 percent, 25 percent and 22 percent in amount of expenditure. Where dairy products with other food and drinks have only a one-third of the total expenses. Apart from the first chart the percentage ratio in the second pie chart can exemplifies by showing the expenditures that's basically high are in trend on fruits and vegetables, dairy products and other food and drinks. In the duration of this four years when the total income declines from £29000 to £25000 the spending volume on food and cloths have got a decrementing rate in case of money.
The pie charts illustrate about the total income
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
from 2010 to 2013. And in this course of time the amount spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and cloths vary
Consider replacing "in a significant way" with the adverb for "significant"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a significant way
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
extradict
the income ratio in both years.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it can
be observed
that, in terms of fruits and vegetables, meat and fish with cloths share a dominating nature in the competitive market having 20 percent, 25 percent and 22 percent in amount of expenditure. Where dairy products with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and drinks have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a one-third of the total expenses. Apart from the
first
chart the percentage ratio in the second pie chart can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "exemplify"
exemplifies
by showing the expenditures that's
basically
high are in trend on fruits and vegetables, dairy products and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and drinks. In the duration of this four years when the total income declines from £29000 to £25000 the spending volume on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and cloths have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a decrementing rate in case of money.
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IELTS academic Expenses vary from year to year

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
162 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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