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Evolution of horse in last 40 million years

Evolution of horse in last 40 million years MyxPa
The pictorial diagram depicts the evolution of the horse from Eohippus to modern horse in time span of 40 million years. To begin with, the horse found 40 million years ago was known as Eohippus that had four-toed feet with small body structure. 10 million years from that time it evolved into Mesohippus experiencing increase in size and has feet with three toes, middle one as a prominent. Merychippus that resembles as modern horse was seen 15 million years ago with masculine body type and developed crest. This shares the same feet structure with their previous ones with some increase in size. Modern horse which have tall and handsome body structure with hairy tail and silky hairs on back of the neck. Their feet structure became complex and toes combined to form hoof. Overall, it can be seen that species of horse has experienced tremendous changes with major development in their feet.
The pictorial diagram depicts the evolution of the
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horse
from
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Eohippus
to modern
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horse
in time span of 40
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million
years.

To
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begin
with, the
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horse
found 40
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million
years ago
was known
as
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Eohippus
that had four-toed feet with
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small
body
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structure
. 10
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million
years from that time it evolved into
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Mesohippus
experiencing increase in size and has feet with three toes, middle one as
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a prominent
.
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Merychippus
that resembles as modern
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horse
was
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seen
15
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million
years ago with masculine body type and developed crest. This shares the same feet
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structure
with their previous ones with
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some
increase in size. Modern
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horse
which have tall and handsome body
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structure
with hairy tail and silky hairs on back of the neck. Their feet
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structure
became complex and toes combined to form hoof.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
horse
has experienced tremendous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
with major development in their feet.

IELTS academic Evolution of horse in last 40 million years

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
152 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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