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the bar chart shows the trips of different vehicles in 1990 and 2010.

the bar chart shows the trips of different vehicles in 1990 and 2010. brVjg
The bar chart shows the number of usage of different modes of commutation by the school students aged between 5-12 to and from the school in millions, dated to be in the year of 1990 and 2010. In 1990, walking was recorded to be the highest mode of movement with around 12 million trips, whereas in 2010, usage of cars recorded the highest number of trips with around 10 million. there seems to a sharp rise and a drop in trips of cars and walking in the years of 1990 and 2010 respectively Whereas the other transport trips seems to have lesser usage in 2010 as compared to that of 1990 even though it is not as drastic as the walking and car passenger. The car movement had the least number of trips in 1990 which was about less than 6 million, whereas the car movement was in peak in the year of 2010 with more than 10 million. Post the usage of cars, the walking trips had also been on the higher side but, the walking trips was in peak in the 1990 with more than 12 million. Even though the walking was not the least used mode of commuting, it still had send a sudden drop with only 6 million trips in 2010. The other mode of trips which includes cycling, walking and bus and solely bus had been on the higher side of usage with around 4 to 8 million trips in 1990. These are however was the least used mode of movement in 2010 with only 2 million trips of cycling, and about 2 to 6 million trips of walking and bus and solely bus.
The bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modes
of commutation by the school students aged between 5-12 to and from the school in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
, dated to be in the year of 1990 and 2010.

In 1990, walking
was recorded
to be the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mode
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movement
with around 12
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
, whereas in 2010,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
recorded the highest number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
with around 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
seems to a sharp rise and a drop in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and walking in the years of 1990 and 2010
respectively
Whereas the other transport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
seems to have lesser
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
in 2010 as compared to that of 1990
even though
it is not as drastic as the walking and
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car
passenger.

The
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car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movement
had the least number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
in 1990 which was about less than 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
, whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movement
was in peak in the year of 2010 with more than 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. Post the
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usage
of
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cars
, the walking
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trips
had
also
been on the higher side
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but
, the walking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
was in peak in the 1990 with more than 12
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million
.
Even though
the walking was not the least
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mode
of commuting, it
still
had
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "sent".
send
a sudden drop with
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only
6
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
in 2010.

The other
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mode
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
which includes cycling, walking and bus and
solely
bus had been on the higher side of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
with around 4 to 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
in 1990. These are
however
was the least
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mode
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movement
in 2010 with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
of cycling, and about 2 to 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
of walking and bus and
solely
bus.
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IELTS academic the bar chart shows the trips of different vehicles in 1990 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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