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Adult education reasons(writing task 1)

Adult education reasons(writing task 1) PEy7g
The result of the experiment has been shared underneath in two types of charts. The information about these charts are about reasons for adults to study and the second one is about the share of adult education. Generally, there are seven reasons why adults decide to study. On one hand interest and reaching aspects are the highest rate of reasons. On the other hand, finding new people and replacing jobs are the two lowest rates of them all. In the middle there are three other causes like; Improving the same job, getting ready for promotion and literally enjoying learning something new. These three have close results and in one topic they show the same numbers as each other. In the pie chart there are three different shares which explains and shows every percent of shareholders of the cost for each course. From highest to lowest rate they are groups like: self-employed, employers and tax payers. At the end there are many reasons and multiple shares for each course. The two charts totally have the same purpose and that is showing the situation of adult education.
The result of the experiment has
been shared
underneath in two types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
. The information about these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
are about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
to study and the second one is about the share of adult education.

Generally
, there are seven
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
decide to study. On one hand interest and reaching aspects are the highest rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
.
On the other hand
, finding new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and replacing jobs are the two lowest rates of them all. In the middle there are three other causes like; Improving the same job, getting ready for promotion and
literally
enjoying learning something new. These three have close results and in one topic they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the same numbers as each other.

In the pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
there are three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
shares which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
every percent of shareholders of the cost for each course. From highest to
A determiner is probably missing here: "the lowest".
lowest
rate they are groups like: self-employed, employers and tax payers.

At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
and multiple shares for each course. The two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
totally
have the same purpose and
that is
showing the situation of adult education.
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IELTS academic Adult education reasons(writing task 1)

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
185 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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