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The maps below shows some development in a island.

The maps below shows some development in a island. xOjq1
The rendered maps illustrate an island before and after several kind of advancements. At the first glance, it is crystal clear that after some construction work islet become suitable for humans living. To begin with, firstly starting from the west side of the developed peninsula as it shows a swimming area is placed alongside the beach, moving further to the east few housing apartments are built there and the count of the apartments is 6. An eatery is also available in the second map, near eatery there is a new reception building also on the right side of it there are other 9 shelters. Furthermore, a boating facility an a pile is also constructed at the south side of island. There are several roads and footpaths now, which connect all buildings of the area. Non from these all building is available in the first map. Moreover, a good thing is that this development do not harm the environment consequently, there are more trees than in past.
The rendered maps illustrate an island
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and after
Possible agreement error. The noun kind seems to be countable; consider using: "several kinds".
several kind
of advancements.

At the
first
glance, it is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "constructions"?
construction
work islet become suitable for humans living.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
firstly
starting from the west side of the developed peninsula as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a swimming area
is placed
alongside the beach, moving
further
to the east few housing apartments
are built
there and the count of the apartments is 6. An eatery is
also
available in the second map, near eatery there is a new reception building
also
on the right side of it there are other 9 shelters.

Furthermore
, a boating facility
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "an" or "a" is left.
an a
pile is
also
constructed at the south side of island. There are several roads and footpaths
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, which connect all buildings of the area. Non from these all building is available in the
first
map.
Moreover
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing is that this development do not harm the environment
consequently
, there are more trees than
Did you mean: "in the past"?
in past
.
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IELTS academic The maps below shows some development in a island.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
166 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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