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everythings around my life

everythings around my life VP2gK
Needless to say, some people work hard while others prefer not to push themselves beyond a certain limit. This essay is dedicated to analyse the major reasons behind this phenomenon and in my view, it has several consequences. Out of all the reason, the cogent one is the cut throat competition. In other words, as far as employers are concerned, to achieve holistic development in every arena, employees work in tough circumstances. In order to live comfortable lifestyle, they give up their whole potential in their work field to fulfill their quest. Moreover, students in the phase of learning often get pressurise by their parents since there are limited seats in their dream institutions which encourage them to work harder to make their parents as well as their ambitions satisfied. To illustrate, the cut off's in entrance examinations has increased whereas reserved seats are limited which leads to huge competition.
Needless to say,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
while others prefer not to push themselves beyond a certain limit. This essay
is dedicated
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the major reasons behind this phenomenon and in my view, it has several consequences.

Out of all the reason, the cogent one is the
'cut throat' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "cut-throat".
cut throat
competition.
In other words
, as far as employers
are concerned
, to achieve holistic development in every arena, employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in tough circumstances. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
comfortable lifestyle, they give up their whole potential in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
field to fulfill their quest.
Moreover
, students in the phase of learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake. 'pressurise' is British English.
pressurise
by their parents since there
are limited
seats in their dream institutions which encourage them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
harder to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their parents
as well
as their ambitions satisfied. To illustrate, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
Do not use 's with a verb. Did you mean "offs"?
off's
in entrance examinations has increased whereas reserved seats
are limited
which leads to huge competition.
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IELTS academic everythings around my life

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
150 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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