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enrollment of Australian students

enrollment of Australian students VQV3m
The graphs provide information about number of foreing and domestic students in Australian universities of last ten years. Overall, it can bee seen that enrolment of total local students were high latest years, while enrolment of foreing learners were low. Strating from 2001 total number of students from other countries increased rapdly from 2000 to 8000 in the middle of 2009 and 2020, however number of local students in 2001 were 400000 and this rate steadly increased untile 2007 getting highest point of 600000. By the way, next 4 years this number kept its index. However, numer of commercal overseas students outraced number local students. in 2001 the number of both students were at the same point, but next ten years rate of commercal overseas students steadly increased until 2009, getting highest point. the situnation with local was different, enrolment of commercal local students increasd for 50 % and went flacuated until 2010.
The graphs provide information about
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number
of
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foreing
and domestic
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students
in Australian universities of last ten years.
Overall
, it
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can bee
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seen
that
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enrolment
of total
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local
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students
were high latest years, while
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enrolment
of
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foreing
learners were low.

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Strating
from 2001 total
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number
of
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students
from other countries increased
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rapdly
from 2000 to 8000 in the middle of 2009 and 2020,
however
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number
of
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local
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students
in 2001 were 400000 and this rate
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steadly
increased
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untile
2007 getting
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highest
point of 600000. By the way,
next
4 years this
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number
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kept
its index.

However
,
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numer
of
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commercal
overseas
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students
outraced
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number
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local
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students
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
2001 the
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number
of both
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students
were at the same point,
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but
next
ten years rate of
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commercal
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Possible spelling mistake found.
steadly
increased until 2009, getting
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
point.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
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situnation
with
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local
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
,
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enrolment
of
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commercal
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local
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students
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increasd
for 50 % and went
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flacuated
until 2010.
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IELTS academic enrollment of Australian students

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
153 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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