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the amount of three kinds of spreads (margarine, low fat and reduced spreads and butter)

the amount of three kinds of spreads (margarine, low fat and reduced spreads and butter) YByrr
The line graph illustrates the amount of three kinds of spreads (margarine, low fat and reduced spreads and butter) which were consumed over 26 years from 1981 to 2007. Units are measured in grams. Overall, the consumption of margarine and butter decreased over the period given, while for low fat and reduced spreads, it rose. At the start of the period, butter was the most popular spread, which was replaced by margarine from 1991 to 2001, and following that low fat and reduced spreads became the most widely used spread in the final years. With regards to the amount of butter used, it began at around 140 grams and then peaked at 160 grams in 1986 before falling dramatically to about 50 grams in the last year. Likewise, approximately 90 grams of margarine was eaten in the first year after which the figure fluctuated slightly and dropped to a low of 40 grams in 2007. On the other hand, the consumption of low fats and reduced spreads only started in 1996 at about 10 grams. This figure, which reached a high of just over 80 grams 5 years later, fell slightly in the final years to approximately 70 grams in 2007.
The line graph illustrates the amount of three kinds of
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spreads
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(margarine
,
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low
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fat
and
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reduced
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spreads
and
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butter)
which
were consumed
over 26 years from 1981 to 2007. Units
are measured
in grams.

Overall
, the consumption of
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margarine
and
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butter
decreased over the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
, while for
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low
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fat
and
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reduced
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spreads
, it rose. At the
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start
of the period,
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butter
was the most popular
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spread
, which
was replaced
by
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margarine
from 1991 to 2001, and following that
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low
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fat
and
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reduced
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spreads
became the most
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
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spread
in the final years.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
the amount of
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butter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
, it began at around 140
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grams
and then peaked at 160
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grams
in 1986
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before
falling
dramatically
to about 50
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grams
in the last
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year
.
Likewise
, approximately 90
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grams
of
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margarine
was eaten
in the
first
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year
after which the figure fluctuated
slightly
and dropped to a
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low
of 40
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grams
in 2007.

On the other hand
, the consumption of
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low
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fats
and
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reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreads
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
in 1996 at about 10
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grams
. This figure, which reached a high of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 80
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grams
5 years later, fell
slightly
in the final years to approximately 70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
in 2007.
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IELTS academic the amount of three kinds of spreads (margarine, low fat and reduced spreads and butter)

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
201 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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