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Electronic goods and services by age of head of household.

Electronic goods and services by age of head of household. NmaEd
The bar chart reveals information on the use of electronic goods and services by age of householders. Units are measured in pounds per week (ppw). From an overall perspective, there was a significant difference in the expenditure spent on using technological devices in five chosen age groups. It is also interesting to note that the figure for TVs, videos, computers were determined to be all time higher than that of TV, satellite rental and internet, excepting for the 75+ group. It is clear from the chart that people who are 30 to 49 years old are the group spending the highest amount of money on TV, videos, computers, nearly $13 per week, closely followed by that of the group under 30 with just well over $13 per week. The spending on TVs, videos, computer decrease dramatically when it comes to group 50 to 64, 65 to 74 and 75 or over, with 7 ppw, 5ppw, 2ppw respectively. In terms of expenditure on TV, satellite rental, internet and so on in all four chosen age groups: under 30, 30 to 49, 50 to 64 as well as 65 to 74 were relatively the same, always maintained under 5 ppw, just nearly a half of the corresponding figures for Tvs, videos and Computers. In contrast, the head of household who are 75 or over spent more money on TV, satellite rental compared to Tvs videos and computers about 1. 5 ppw.
The bar chart reveals information on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of electronic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services by age of householders. Units
are measured
in pounds per week (
Possible spelling mistake found.
ppw
).

From an
overall
perspective, there was a significant difference in the expenditure spent on using technological devices in five chosen age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
. It is
also
interesting to note that the figure for TVs,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
, computers
were determined
to be all time higher than that of TV, satellite rental and internet, excepting for the 75+ group.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the chart that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are 30 to 49 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
spending the highest amount of money on TV,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
, computers,
nearly
$13 per week,
closely
followed by that of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
under 30 with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
well over $13 per week. The spending on TVs,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
, computer decrease
dramatically
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
50 to 64, 65 to 74 and 75 or over, with 7
Possible spelling mistake found.
ppw
, 5ppw, 2ppw
respectively
.

In terms of expenditure on TV, satellite rental, internet and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on in all four chosen age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
: under 30, 30 to 49, 50 to 64
as well
as 65 to 74 were
relatively
the same, always maintained under 5
Possible spelling mistake found.
ppw
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
nearly
a half of the corresponding figures for
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tvs
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
and Computers.
In contrast
, the head of household who are 75 or over spent more money on TV, satellite rental compared to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tvs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
and computers about 1. 5
Possible spelling mistake found.
ppw
.
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IELTS academic Electronic goods and services by age of head of household.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
239 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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